Ten Things You Must Not Do At an End of Year Staff Party

End of year parties will swing into action starting this week. This is one forum where all staff at all levels will meet, and the potential leaders will be under heavy scrutiny. It is as though this is the ground where the now ageing managers come to hunt for promotion material.

The statistics among HR 'let's fire them or something' practitioners say that employees who behave badly at end of year staff parties are unlikely to fare well in the company in the long term. Lets figure that one out in employee speak; if you do something insane-ish at the end of year staff party, when your name comes up for promotion in kindu three years time, some hater is likely to say… 'but do you remember how she drank at the 2010 Christmas party?'

Seriously; that mama in HR that greets you with a smile daily is not your buddy – trust me. If you have any plans of progress towards those upper floor offices with wall to wall carpeting, here are ten things you must not do at the annual end of year Christmas party:

One: do not go heavy on the drink no matter what! 
Now I know that free booze is a complete turn on to get your drinking mind all set to work on it, but the thing is, typically when you are high you are likely to say nutty things. Secondly, you are likely to do nutty things; like stare too long at the gal in accounts or that hot jamaa in salaries (whichever your orientation).

Truth be told, there will be stone cold sober fellows at the party and in my years of interacting with both boozers and non-boozers, there is zero tolerance for ill on-booze behavior amongst
non-boozers. Your best card is to look at that counter with its sparkling bottles of cold 'T****er' (courtesy Mututho rules) and turn to the not so hot chick before you and true and forget that cold one.

If you want numbers – keep to a maximum of two drinks, max. If you know you are those people who hit bottle two and the craving to quench that thirst hits, drink orange juice. It will speak better for your ability at self control in the long term. Basically, do not make your conduct the 'hadithi hadithi' intro to teatime conversations for the next one year.

Two: do not take this as a chance to talk long and free
The easy atmosphere at annual end of year parties, take it from an employer, are a trap. They are created for the express yet hidden intention of nabbing you with your defenses down. It’s a game! Let's put the cat in a room full of milk and see how he/she behaves. Technically, you are the cat and you are not supposed to touch the milk.

No one in upper management cares for your opinion. In their minds, you are not the manager and there is a reason why you are not there but they are. Snooty? Yes! Will you be victimized for being honest? Yes!

Along that line, keep your conversations as light as possible. This is not the time to sell your idea in algebraic formulas on how the company can earn another extra million a week with your innovation.

Three: do not take this as a chance to push your agenda with a gal or with a jamaa for relationship
Somehow, the word fraternization is one of those unwritten rules in Kenyan books of corporate behavior. To have a relationship of the romantic kind in the office will simply zero your chances at progress. Why? It says you are loose with your boundaries. The thing about office romance (no matter how it is made to look lovely by the media) is it creates a high energy distraction. Managers know this and like I say often; they are more interested in their bottom line than they are with how well your love life is progressing.

In addition to that; if you do meet with members of your department after the party in a less 'stiff upper lip' kind of environment, do not go home with anyone. For some reason, those ones hit the headlines faster and louder than the usual indiscretions in the office.

Four: do not macro-manage one person the whole evening – mingle
It's another trap; the intention of this one is to see if we sent them to Kuala Lumpur as our new area representative, will they be able to warm up to strangers, get a conversation going and hopefully sell the company more? When you fail to mingle it says you are not confident, you do not know how to speak to people, and basically, you are not promotion material. Unfair? Yes! Accurate? Yes!

Five: do not make this the day to show off your legs, for the gals, and your 'macho dude' side for the boys
Look at it this way; there will be at least one person in upper management that is in the Church choir, Women's G or Mother's U kind of associations. The point is there are many that are conservative to their hair roots! Therefore, to come to the party looking like their errant son-in-law, or that tramp their son married is simply not going to work for you. Keep the dress causal if that was the dress code, but make that smart-casual.

Six: closely following five; do not thwart the dress code
Ask before the party, if you will have a chance to go home and change, what the dress code is, then make it your point to dress appropriately. It says you have taste, you can follow the norms, and you can represent the company without embarrassing us all.

Seven: do not look bored – no matter how bored you really are
The point of that one is that looking bored simply says you are a selfish under-developed individual who thinks about nothing else but themselves. If you feel the 'bore' yawn coming on, look for another  more interesting person to chat with and find a topic that can keep the faint smile on your face.

Eight: for goodness sakes; do not arrive after your boss, and do not leave before your boss
Except with express prior conversation with the said boss where they are clear about where you are and why you are late, or why you need to leave early, not keeping time at the start or at the end can and will be used against you.

In the same vein, and many people do this to cover their own insecurities, do not make your absence the norm. If you cannot make it this year, for goodness sake, make it next year. Meanwhile, explain to the boss why you cannot make it with serious reasons. You mother just arrived from up-country is not going to wash. She is not a baby and unless you are at a hospital emergency room – surely you can leave her be for some hours.

Nine: do not eat like you are from a starved nation
Most of these functions offer food and it is unlikely that it will get finished. If you have leadership aspirations, leave the glutton act to lower level staff. This is the place to put only the 'right' amount of food on your plate; to eat chicken with a serviette very nearby (or with a knife and fork if you can hack that), and to basically observe all good table manners.

Piled to overflowing plates, three glasses of juice, starter, main course and desert on the same plate, are not going to look good here at all. If need be, read up on proper and basic food etiquette before the party.

Ten: do not bring your friends, significant other or 'company'
Unless the party is open to a friend, do not invite your friends to a 'kutakuwa na dish kibao' gig. This is not only misplaced, it is considered rude. Company parties are for staff.

If it is open to guests, make the guest you bring along either your 'with a ring on finger' fiancé or fiancée (and for you own sake marry before the following year's end of year party), your spouse, or no one. To bring a friend along for 'company' is simply antisocial.

Well, with these ten 'do not do' you are likely to be in fairly good company at the end of year party and you will be looking good next year. This is the path to build a good career progression.